Filed under: Humour
What is it with politicians and having wars?
Not real wars with guns and bombs and people winding up dead or with unexplained mystery illnesses which don’t really exist - at least not in the minds of politicians - but all these fake wars on things which can’t actually fight back.
It seems any time a problem comes up there’s always some dumbass politician who wants to have fucking war on it.
Remember the ‘war on drugs’? What the fuck was that all about? A war on drugs - what did I miss something? Did America get invaded by a couple of spliffs and a crack pipe?
It just doesn’t make sense. A war on drug dealers or drug importers - now that makes sense. Those bastards at least have guns and shit to fight back with but not a fucking war on drugs?
- Hey Sarge. I think the Captain’s losing it - says the politicos are saying we’re gonna have a war on drugs…
… Sarge. How are we gonna fight a bunch of inanimate objects? -
These days we’ve got the ‘war on terror’ - on terror for fucks sake. Not terrorists but terror itself. Is it any wonder that Bin Laden got away when troops are told that the enemy is terror?
- No, Sarge. Didn’t find any terror in that cave you sent us to check out. Just a few guys with guns and an old kidney machine. Nothing scary about that at all… -
A war on terror? What ALL terror?
I mean what are they saying here? That one minute I’m watching a late night movie on TV and the next I’m surround by the SAS all shooting the crap out of my living room?
- Not to worry, Sir, We are in a war on terror and that film was pretty terrifying, wasn’t it? It’s all for your own safety, sir… -
Why so aggressive all the time? Can’t anyone figure out that if we didn’t go round pissing people off so much by having all these wars then maybe… just maybe… we wouldn’t need to keep having all these dumb wars anyway.
I mean there’s even a fucking charity called ‘War on Want’ - War on Want? What the fuck’s that all about?
We’re having a war on poverty and its all being paid for by a fucking charity? Has anyone even told the poor people this?
- Look, its alright. We’re here to help and we’re having a war on poverty -
- Look, fuck your war. Just give me a glass of clean water and a meal you bastard! -
None of this makes sense and these assholes don’t even see it? Why? Because they’re all too busy having a fucking war on the English language, that’s why.
Learn to express yourself clearly, for fuck’s sake, and the world might just start making a bit more fucking sense…
… you see, what we really need is a war on idiots who talk about nothing else but having wars on things!