Hello and Welcome to ‘Have I Got PragueTory For You’. I’m your host, Unity.
And in this week’s news… ahh fuck it, let’s just get on with the show and skip straight to round one, where you have to identify a recent ‘news’ story involving PragueTory from the following pictorial clues…
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And now, round two, and a departure from round one, this is the odd one out. Four pictures for you this week, which one’s the colloquial term for a part of the female anatomy and why…?
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And finally, our missing words round in which some or all of the questions may come from a hastily deleted post that appeared briefly in November on this week’s guest publication, PragueTory’s Blog.
Question 1.
I am sure all of you know my anti-drugs stance. ****** ******** is a w*nker.
Question 2.
I am doing this for the greater good. I would like to remove ******** from political life. It’s better in the long term. He is the most economically illiterate candidates for Chancellor the country has ever had (except for Brown).
Question 3.
****** is a man that bangs on about his amazingly normal childhood, but was one of the greatest alcohol and substance abusers at Magdalen College. Of all the people who could go on to be an MP from there, he is one of the most unsuitable, in the estimation of a good friend of mine. I know that all the Tory MPs wish him well - that is understandable in a misguided way - but let’s be honest, he’s an economically illiterate w*nker with a plum in his mouth.
Question 4.
At conference I had to withstand him equating tax cuts with economic instability. Well, f*ck off ******. Read the facts. As Tories, in the non-too-distant, we will need to be making the case for less tax, less spending, less laws,(I hope). You’re ripping the heart out of that argument. You are not a real Tory. Get out of my life.
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And finally - well the quiz is a bit on the easy side, so I guess we need a tie-break question, so complete the following sentence in 25 words or less…
PragueTory is a whinging tosser because…
Points will be scored for accuracy, wit and inventive use of swearwords, even if that does put DK at a distinct advantage over just about everyone else on the planet.
You’ve missed the bit about Sion Simon out.
January 21st, 2007 at 1:08 pmOh and as for swearing, you are fucking wrong about me speaking to or grassing Mr Piper up to journalists about your blacking up gag. If Al Jolson is what is most closely associated with Mr Piper, that’s his problem.
January 21st, 2007 at 1:11 pmRegardless of that blogger’s offence to you, your content is puerile venom. I had thought so much better of you. You have, quite quickly, become so very disappointing. Not all of us on the left of politics are mindless, filthy and poisonous. Ah, well, goodbye to your reputation and goodbye to you.
January 21st, 2007 at 1:50 pmPT:
Hahahaha!
I did, indeed, omit a reference to a Labour MP from the text used in the missing words round, precisely to see if you were enough of a dumb twat to point out the omission and confirm that you did, indeed, make those very comments.
As for the rest, my clear understanding is that Bob has a number of e-mails from Tory bloggers who declined to play sock puppet for you, informing him of your activities and a taped telephone conversation was played to him a by journalist in which the shit-stirrer on other end of the line specifically identified themselves as you.
In netiquette terms, whether or not you actually made the call or whether it was some rogue sock puppet claiming to be you is largely fucking immaterial because it was you who deliberately kicked off and fueled the shit-storm, so at best you’re an accessory before the fact - and to an ‘old school’ net-head like me, that makes you fair game.
This ain’t payback, BTW, just a little reminder to let you know that I don’t do forgive and forget. Now, you’ll have to excuse me but I’ve a puppet to deal with.
January 21st, 2007 at 2:00 pmEd:
Let’s change the game here to ‘Through the keyhole’…
Generic name? Check.
Never posted here before? Check
Disposable webmail address? Check.
No link back to a blog? Check.
Posted shortly after PT’s been here on a whinge? Less than an hour, so, Check.
[UPDATE] Oops, almost forgot… Hit from blog search engine looking for ‘PragueTory’ just before “Ed’s” comment was posted? Check (of course)
Dodgy looking IP address. Check - it resolves back via APNIC to an ISP in Bangkok, Thailand that has never once been logged as visiting this blog before today.
Do I need to go any further, get out the toolkit and portscan this IP address for an open proxy?
Nah, fuck it - its a sock puppet.
January 21st, 2007 at 2:09 pmI know exactly what happened re the Piper episode. In fact I’ve written a book about it. Show your readers the link to where I posted this comment on my blog. Come on googlecache, political opinions, you must have it somewhere? Bear in mind that I am on record as saying that I could hang my blogging boots up if I removed Sion Simon from UK political life - and I would love to have a pretext to do so.
January 21st, 2007 at 3:00 pmAnd the idea that an IT illiterate could create a posting from Thailand is laughable. I think Ed’s thought were probably very genuine.
January 21st, 2007 at 3:02 pmCongratulations, PT, you’ve just proved yourself to be a snivelling little shite with your piss-poor efforts to cover your tracks.
No one but a complete and utter halfwit could make the mistake of thinking that the decriptive information given in the post used for the ‘missing words’ round relates to Sion Simon, not least your use of the magic words ‘You are not a real Tory. Get out of my life.’
Were the post in question retrievable from Google Cache, you can bet your life that the screeshot would be posted, but as you had the good fortune to redact your comments quickly enough to avoid the post being cached, it became necessary to indulge in a piece of minor subterfuge and omit a certain piece of information from the post that only you, as the author, and I (and a couple of others with whom this information has been shared) would know had been omitted, and then sit back and see if you really were dumb enough to take the bait.
Which, of course, you were - if fact you couldn’t wait to tell the world that I’d ‘missed the bit about Sion Simon out’, thinking that I (a Labour blogger) had chosen to omit a reference to a Labour MP from your comments out of nothing more than that my own personal and political bias and that this would cast doubts on my own reputation, when in fact I was setting you up all along for one of the oldest investigative tricks in book - that of inducing you into revealing your ‘inside’ knowledge of information that could only be known to the author of the comments in question.
What lie are you going to try and deploy next, PT?
Will it be the ‘it wasn’t me, it was someone and I only saw it myself on someone else’s blog/comments…’?
That’s the next most obvious and unconvincing bit of wriggling you can try to pull out to cover your arse - but then if that’s your defence, why not say so straight away and have done with it? Let me give you another little investigator’s tip: the first, instinctive, reaction of an innocent man to an accusation is always ‘I didn’t do it’, its only the guilty who’s opening gambit is ‘where’s the evidence?’.
I’ll look forward to reading your book… when it turns up the remainders bin at the local branch of ‘The Works’, and wish you all the best with your new found literary career…
…but I’d also make the most of it, if I were you, because as long as the individual who’s name is actually the answer to every single question in the ‘missing words’ round stays in anything like the senior position he’s currently in, any thoughts you might have had towards a political career in your own party are well and truely fucked…
January 21st, 2007 at 3:36 pmOh, and PT…
I didn’t say that ‘Ed’ was an IT illiterate as I know perfectly well that it does take a fair measure of technical knowledge to gate into here via an open relay in Thailand, what I pointed out was that I’ve had no previous hits from that particular ISP nor any previous comments from an ‘Ed Smith’, which raises the distinct suspicion that ‘Ed’ is not all that professes to be, especially when he calls this post ‘venomous’ - he can’t be too au fait with my usual posting style if he thinks this is venomous, I’ve won a Bloody Devil award in the past FFS.
That’s because, unlike you, I’m not a technical illiterate myself, which is why I found your ‘I’ve banned Tim’ post at Paul Linford’s blog so funny, because I know that Tim’s also not a technical illiterate either (and nor, indeed, is Dizzy if I read him correctly). If any one the three of us were seriously determined to go graffiti-ing all over your blog we are all quite capable of doing it and there is nothing you could do to stop us. There isn’t a blog or forum system yet developed that has a way of banning users that can’t be bypassed with the right software tools and knowledge, so its absurd to even try unless you’re dealing with an idiot spammer or a complete n00b.
I could quite easily have been posting comments at your blog for months under a ‘false identity’ and so long as I stayed ‘in character’ and chose not to reveal myself to you, there would be no possibility of you picking me out from amongst your other regular commenters. I haven’t, I should point out, because you’re not that interesting or important, but I could if ever felt like it.
And even if ‘Ed’ is kosher then, on balance, one ‘reader’ lost (possibly) as a trade-off against suckering you into fucking yourself over is a pretty fair rate of exchange - after all you can’t make an omlette without breaking an egg or two along the way.
[Edits for typos and clarity only]
January 21st, 2007 at 3:52 pmYoung Dominic is going to think you are picking on him, comrade. Be careful… he’ll threaten to ‘out’ himself again. The man is a joke.
January 21st, 2007 at 10:38 pmHmmmm, damn that Google cache.
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:04 pmOh dear, there it goes again.
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:10 pmThe De-Briefing (Guido and his political astro-turfers)…
Ministry Of Truth - Generation Gap: There are definable limits to what Tim could reasonably hope to achieve by taking an open pot-shot at Guido, which I’m sure he’s perfectly well aware of, and, for now, the best that he……
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:14 pmFour out of four. Do I win a prize?
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:17 pmJustin: Because I’m a self-important bastard who long-ago declared himself in charge of Teh Internets, I have given this a name; it is called a ‘vapour-trail’.
I took a stroll along one of these last week, and it led me to a very boring and long-winded site… but more about that later. Maybe.
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:30 pm[…] You see, after I exposed his little G***** O******* faux pas only the other day, handed him his arse in the comments and then, with an assist from Justin, nailed down the lid by producing these screenshots: […]
January 23rd, 2007 at 11:45 pm