All the talks of smears and stalkers over the last week or so is clearly getting to Iain Dale…

Furthermore, the affair was going on while he [Lord Goldsmith] was giving advice on the legality of the Iraq war. Inexplicably, he changed his mind on the legality of the war overnight. He had told the PM it could be illegal, and yet 48 hours later told the Cabinet the reverse. At he time it was thought that Lord Falconer, the then Lord Chancellor, had persuaded him of the error of his ways. I understand that Goldsmith’s affair with Kim Hollis was common knowledge in the upper echelons of the legal profession and would probably therefore have been known by Falconer. Is it beyond the realms of possibility for Falconer to have hinted at his knowledge at the time to Goldsmith?

Okay???

So what you’re suggesting Iain, is that Charlie Falconer might sidled up to Lord Goldsmith and said:

‘Look, I have to tell you that Tony’s not happy with the advice on Iraq… now about that barrister you’ve been knocking off on the side…’

There is only one possible response to that…

One has to wonder quite what Iain has in store for us this week.

Perhaps he’ll be telling us that it was Alistair Campbell who ordered Princess Diana’s assassination by MI6, because he’d thought up all that ‘People’s Princess’ shtick for Tony and decided it was too good not to use.

Or maybe he’ll tell us the real truth about Ollie North sending arms to Iran - that what he really sent them was a shipment of prosthetic arms.

And I really am looking forward to being told that Elvis is alive and well and will be doing a summer season at Butlins, this year, disguised as an Elvis impersonator.

D’oh!