Following swiftly on from one Lib Dem’s wife being arrested on suspicion of involvement in electoral fraud in Nechell’s, the Stirrer are now reporting that two more Lib Dems, may have been arrested in the different part of the city in relation to offences that may have been committed last year…

The Stirrer understands that a Birmingham Liberal Democrat councillor and a local election candidate have been arrested by police investigating allegations of postal voting fraud.

Zaker Choudhry, the councillor for Bordesley Green and Mohammed Saeed who’s standing in the same ward face a probe over possible offences during last year’s elections.

Lib Dem MP and Birmingham councillor John Hemming said that both men strenuously deny any wrongdoing, and recalled that last year another member of the party was arrested shortly before polling day only to be cleared – but he admitted that the police action “would not be helpful” at the ballot box.

West Midlands Police would not confirm the arrests – but The Stirrer is confident of his sources.

Please note that for legal reasons, there will be no discussion of this case on our messageboards.

What would make this even more significant, if true, is that Bordesley Green is one of the two wards in which election results were overturned, in 2005, by an election court.

In keeping with the unconfirmed nature of this story, at present, no comment on this post for the time being. Sorry…

UPDATE

The Stirrer’s report of the arrests (above) has now been confirmed by, of all people, John Hemming, who writes on his blog:

Why two days before the election

One Lib Dem Candidate and a Lib Dem Councillor in Birmingham have been arrested in respect of allegations about the 2006 Local Elections. The real question is why this has been done two days before the election (this morning) rather than after the election. (Mohammed Saeed and Cllr Zakar Ullah Choudhry)

Superficially it appears that the police are intervening in the election itself. They arrested one of our candidates in the 2006 election. He, however, was found to have not committed any offence (the postal votes found with his wife were his, his wifes and their children).

We know that some form of setup is going on because a postal vote was misdirected to the same Lib Dem Candidate’s house. It is a bit like harrassing people with Pizzas and Taxis instead we have harrassment with postal votes.

Obviously we need to investigate the allegations further, but it all seems a bit fishy to me.

With all due respect, John, the real question here is, first and foremost, whether there is any substance to these allegations or, at the very least, sufficient initial evidence to warrant an arrest.

Only after that is answered does the question of the timing of the arrests come under question.

What’s most interesting about these arrests is that they appear to relate to allegations appertaining to last year’s local elections - one would have to presume, therefore, that the police may be acting on a specific complaint/allegation about the conduct of the individuals in question and must have obtained, or been given, some evidence to support the allegations sufficient to warrant an arrest.

If that is the case then, at the very least, it does suggest that the timing of the arrests may well be more a function of the timing of these complaints/allegations, rather than anything that would indicate deliberate police intervention in the electoral process.

Not enough is known, at this point, to second guess the police in their actions, or the timing of their actions.

However - and without wishing to cast any aspersion or make any suggestion of wrongdoing whatsoever, a quick background information check into the two individuals named in this story does appear to show an anomaly in regards to Cllr Choudhry.

Accord to 192.com’s database, Cllr Choudhry appears, bold as brass, on the current (2007) electoral roll for Birmingham but not on any it its historical electoral rolls - in essence this may indicate that Cllr Choudhry may not have been registered to vote in Birmingham prior to this current year, including at the time he was elected to Birmingham City Council.

This seeming discrepancy is not conclusive evidence of anything, there being at least two possible reasons why Cllr Choudhry might, quite legitimately not appear on the electoral roll for any year prior to this one - his qualification for election as a councillor in 2006 may have stemmed from his business interest in a petrol station in Small Heath or from two residential properties he owns in the same area, even though he may have actually lived (and voted) outside Birmingham prior to this year.

Alternatively he may simply have requested, in previous years, that 192.com omit his personal information from its online database, as he is perfectly entitled to do, only to decide on becoming a councillor that this was no longer necessary or this may even be the result of a simple transliteration error. There are several English variant spellings of the name Choudhry all of which derive from the same Bengali name - without getting too technical, in transliterating names from languages that use an alphabet/writing system that is unrelated to the western Latin alphabet, the best one can do is produce an ‘English’ spelling derived from the phonetic composition of the name, which may then give several different spellings depending on exactly how each phoneme in the name has been recorded.

Choudhry, Chowdhry and Chowdhury all look, to western eyes to be similar, but distinct name - even though they all refer to a single, discreet Bengali name.

This kind of confusion is evident in the two reports - the Stirrer gives Cllr Choudhry’s first name as ‘Zakar’, John gives the spelling ‘Zaker’ and this confusion over the correct English transliteration is even evident in the councillor’s entry on Birmingham City Council’s register of members interests, where it appear that Zakar was initially used only then to be corrected to Zaker.

One hesitates someone to point this out, as one wants to be entirely in clear is stating that I am in no way raising questions of doubt about the honest of either individual at this point in time, but these kinds of transliteration errors and sometimes the basis on which verifiable electoral frauds are perpetrated, in the form of a single individual obtaining multiple votes by having multiple entries on the electoral roll at different addresses and under slightly different spellings of the same name. As I’ve said, that should in no way be taken as a suggestion that either of the two man arrest today have been involved in any such practices, I include the information merely to point out how and why ‘discrepancies’ that may lead to or be used for fraud can arise without it being obvious to those staff whose job it is to maintain and scrutinise the electoral roll.

At this point, therefore, all this proves nothing - although it may suggest to John that there may be matters that his party need to look into in order to account for this apparent discrepancy to their own satisfaction, and may also - conceivably - has been a contributory factor in the police’s thinking on today’s arrests, as any such anomalies migh, in concert with a complaint/allegation of electoral misconduct of some sort, create the impression that there are things that may merit investigation, even if such inquiries lead only to a perfect reasonable and mundane explanation of the seeming discrepancy.

In short, this may amount to nothing, but it may be worth looking into if only to clear it up and verify that everything is entirely above board, or that there is a reasonable explanation that accounts what appears, otherwise, to be an anomaly in Cllr Choudhry’s records.

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The problem with taking the moral high ground that its only good for as long as you can stay there…

Lib Dem wife in vote fraud arrest

The wife of a Liberal Democrat candidate has been arrested by detectives investigating potential vote-rigging at next week’s local elections in Birmingham.

The arrest of the 50 year-old wife of Mohammed Khan, who is standing as the Lib Dem candidate in the Nechells ward, came as police recovered a quantity of postal voting forms at an address in Ronald Road, Bordesley Green. Other material was found by officers specialising in preventing potential electoral fraud during another search at a house in neighbouring Hob Moor Road.

The woman was arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to defraud the local election process. She was later released on police bail.

According to the latest electoral register, 17 people are listed at the property in Ronald Road and 12 at Hob Moor Road. Nine of those at the latter address have identical names to those at Ronald Road.

I distinctly recall someone having quite a bit to say on this subject a while back…

Mr [John] Hemming said postal votes should be counted separately as an anti-fraud measure.

He added: “People do not want the democratic process to be dominated by gangsterism.”

Quite right, John… so you’ll be suing your own party this time around, perhaps?

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(I was actually pulling this together before getting wind of Dale’s descent in script-kiddiedom - see previous post - hence the title)

Well it’s nice to see Britain’s premier ‘blogging expert’, Iain Dale, maintaining his usual consistency when reporting on stories about the BBC - i.e. thick and - by the time the sock puppets arrive - full of clots.

There is one group of computer users it’s never a good idea to offend. They are like Jose Mourinho. They regard themselves as the ’special ones’. They act as if they are superior. They look down their noses at the ninety per cent of people who haven’t followed them into the Kingdom of the Self-Righteous. They are the Chelsea supporters of the computer world. Ladies and gentlemen, I am of course referring to the users of Apple Macs.

They will be up in arms today over the news that they won’t be able to access programmes of the BBC iPlayer. I remember very well the uproar there was among Mac users when 18 Doughty Street first launched and they couldn’t stream it. You would have thought the world was coming to an end. They demanded that every waking hour at Doughty Street was devoted to finding a solution. The happy result was that a solution was indeed found and as far as I know all is now well.

We did that on a budget a fraction of the size of the BBC. Yet the BBC, having spent millions on the development of its iPlayer holds out little hope to Mac users of ever finding a solution.

The BBC. It’s what we don’t.

His comments, as one might expect, serve to neatly demonstrate his abject lack of technical knowledge and ability - the ability in question being that of taking his information from a reliable and knowledgeable source, such as The Register, whose own coverage notes that:

The iPlayer application will only be available for MS Windows initially, but the support roadmap reveals interesting priorities: cable TV service support will come first, followed by Apple Macs and then Freeview boxes.

Making the service available to Virgin Media customers (who are the UK cable TV service) would be one in the eye for Sky television at a very important time, so you can be sure that Virgin will be working hard to make that happen.

So, the Apple version of the Beeb’s iPlayer, for which Dale tries to suggest it has little hope of ever delivering, is actually included in the Beeb’s support ‘roadmap’, albeit that it takes second place behind support for Virgin Media’s cable TV Service, which already provides on-demand access to a fairly sizeable number of BBC programmes is a similar manner to that which the new iPlayer service will provide.

In addition to grossly misrepresents the Beeb’s plans - as usual - Dale also considerably over estimates the importance of Mac users, many of whom are little better than a bunch of effete, whinging snobs for all their pretentions of superiority over users of other systems.

More observant readers will notice one significant omission from the Beeb’s developmental roadmap for its iPlayer service - nowhere does it mention any provision for Linux users, who, it appears, will be left out in the cold, as usual.

Will this omission prompt much the same unedifying display of public wailing and gnashing of teeth from them that one has come to expect each and every time that Mac users feel hard done by?

Of course not - unlike the Mac community, with its overbearing surplus of middle class, self-obsessed frat-boys, the Mr Angry’s @ Tunbridge-Wells.com, Linux jockeys have an irrepressible ‘can-do’ attitude.

If the Beeb will not provide, then Linux’s open source community almost certainly will - within days, if not hours of its launch there will be code monkeys the world over picking apart its iPlayer software for the information necessary to develop a compatible Linux player, DRM or no DRM.

Thus far, no company has successfully developed a Digital Right Management system that someone else has not been able to crack - both Apples’ ‘Fairplay’ and Microsoft’s ‘PlaysForSure’ DRM systems were cracked within days of reaching the outside world and continue to be cracked for all that both have released a series of patches and updates in an effort to reassert their control over distribution. These too were cracked within days of their release. Microsoft have even resorted to making spurious legal claims that allege that persons unknown have had access to its own source code, hence the speed with which the DRM system is repeatedly cracked within hours of being updated.

All nonsense of course. The real reason that these systems are cracked so quickly is that:

a) the people doing the cracking are damn good at what they do - and when ot comes to Microsoft in particular, highly motivated just to put one over on the Great Satan of Redmond, and

b) DRM systems are not as secure as Apple/Microsoft would like people to think.

DRM is, after all, only a form of data encryption and, as is the case in any data encryption system, there is always a trade-off to be made between performance and security - the more secure the system, the longer it takes to decode the data into a playable form.  Both companies could, hypothetically, produce near-uncrackable systems, but only at the expense of end-users having to wait several minutes to play back their music or video every time they play the file.

Dale is talking complete rubbish here on two basic counts.

First he hasn’t bothered to check the facts as they relate to the reality of the Beeb’s plans for its iPlayer system, or simply disregarded them of a personal preference for Beeb-bashing propaganda over honest commentary.

Seond, the comparison he makes with Fox News Lite is as facile as it innaccurate, simply because nowhere does his pet propaganda venture have to deal with either the complexities of digital rights management or the protection of copyrights that may be own, in part or in total, by third parties - nevermind that simple in terms of viewing figures, Fox News Lite is somewhere on a par with a home shopping channel rather than a major international broadcaster.

It’s an apples and oranges comparison in every possible respect.

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There are two things that define blogging as a social networking activity.

One is the ability to comment on posts - which is why the likes of Oliver Kamm and Mad Mel Phillips are not bloggers - the other is the ability to refer to posts (and even comments) on other blogs using hyperlinks, pingbacks and trackbacks.

The equation is a simply one - comments = social, hyperlinks, etc = networking.

Which is why Tim Ireland’s discovery that both Iain Dale and Paul Staines have taken to using a bit of script kiddie javascript to prevent Bloggerheads (and Guido 2.0) and The UK Today (which houses the ‘Iain Dale’s Dairy’ site) from ‘deep-linking to their respective sites is little short of staggering.

The script in question, as should be obvious from the screenshots on Tim’s site - and I’ve also verified for myself that the script in question is present on both sites - seeks to prevent either site from linking directly to articles or comments at either Iain Dale’s Diary or Staine’s ‘Order-Order.com’ by redirecting anyone following links from Bloggerhead or The UK Today to their respective homepages. This amounts to a completely half-arsed attempt to prevent both those site from linking directly to evidence that supports many of their recent criticisms of both Dale and Staines, not least in relation to the appalling abuse visited on John Hirst, about which Dale is, at best, tardy to act in curbing his sockpuppets and anonymongrels, while Staines has actively been joining in with the abusive comments.

And, as one can see clearly, there no question as to this being a deliberate act - the script in question is written specifically to target the two sites.

What’s most staggering about this development is not just that they’ve done it at all, but that the pair of them appear dumb enough to think both that they could pull this off without anyone noticing or calling them on it and that their script kiddie trick, once uncovered, would not easily be bypassed in a matter of seconds.

So, in order to restore normal service - if you are a Firefox user (and if you aren’t, why not?) then all you need to do is follow this link to the Mozilla add-ons section where you will find a rather nifty tool called the web developer toolbar.

This add on, which you should install, provides you with a new toolbar containing lots of extremely useful function, especially if you happen to be designing or testing a website or blog template.

However, the feature we’re most interested in here can be found on the left hand side of the toolbar in a menu entitled ‘disable’ - just pop the menu open and you’ll see that you have an option to temporarily disable Javascript.

So if you do want to follow a link from with Bloggerheads/Guido 2.0 or The UK Today/Iain Dale’s Dairy, directly to the specific posts/comments on the sites of Iain Dale and Paul Staines, then all you have to do is turn on the option to disable Javascript before clicking the hyperlink - the prevents the scripts being used by Dale & Staines from running and redirecting you to their homepage rather than to the information you actually wanted to look at.

And there you have it - not just embarrassing but an embarrassing failure as well.

Oh, and for all you Internet Exploder users out there, you can achieve the same thing - albeit with a little more pfaffing around - by turning off javascript through the Internet Options item on one of IE’s main menus - it’s under ‘tools’ IIRC, or you could look around for an IE toolbar that offers the same basic facility.

15 Comments »

Local politics tends to throw up the odd bizarre story here and there, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything to match this one:

Tory candidate joins UKIP

A CONSERVATIVE candidate in the Worcester city council elections has plunged her party into chaos by secretly joining the UK Independence Party.

Melanie Heider, a German national, is standing in the Arboretum ward - the most marginal seat in Worcester.

But unknown to Tory bosses, she joined UKIP seven weeks ago.

The shock revelation - which the Worcester News broke to the Tory party yesterday - has thrown the group’s election campaign into confusion.

It will come as a particularly heavy blow to the Conservative Party, which is so keen to win the seat it has asked city councillors to dip into their own pockets to fund Miss Heider’s campaign.

So, just for starters we have what appears to be German citizen standing in an election to an English Council as a Conservative candidate, who then goes off and joins the UK Independence Party, which - of course - campaigns amongst other things for Britain’s withdrawal from the European Union.

The party has insisted she is unlikely to be sacked, but is currently investigating whether she breached any rules.

Huh?

While I can’t see that the Tories constitution is available online, the rules for candidates applying to be considered as a candidate for London Mayor (Greg Dyke, excluded presumably) do state clear that applicants should be a member of Tory Party and not any other political party, which rather makes one think that the same basic rules might apply.

It gets even better when we get to Miss Heider’s own comments…

Miss Heider moved to the UK from Germany in 1986 and has lived in Worcester since 1997. She used to run a business in Tewkesbury, selling fine chocolate, but is now a University of Worcester student, studying for a degree in social welfare and psychology.

She said: “I joined UKIP because I was interested in what their policies were and wanted to find out more about them.

You could just have asked. I could be wrong but I’m sure UKIP would be happy to discuss their policies with you with you first having to fill in a membership form. I mean. come on, no one’s ever tried to suggest that I should sign-up just to talk to DK…

“I am not happy this has come out and want to say my allegiance is with the Conservative Party.

So why join UKIP?

“I am working very hard to get elected in Arboretum and want to stand for the ward as a Conservative candidate.

“I don’t think UKIP and the Conservatives contradict each other in a huge way.”

Maybe not, but they are entirely separate political parties - i.e. not the same…

And, of course, the real irony here is that Miss Heider can - as a German citizen - only stand for election in the UK because Britain is a member of EU, which UKIP opposes.

Are you following this? Not only has she managed to join two different political parties, but also managed to join one that, if it were to in position to put its policies into practice, would remove her ability to stand for election in this country.

Turkeys, it seems, do vote for Christmas, after all.

1 Comment »

I’ve noted previously that one of our local newspapers, the Express and Star, appears to have developed a somewhat remarkable propensity for either ignoring or downplaying local stories that might reflect poorly on the BNP, hence the paper’s coverage of the closure of the Lagoon Public House in Tipton due to, amongst other things, the failure of its landlord to report serious violent incidents that took place in the pub and his subsequent refusal to turn over CCTV footage to the local police, complete failed to mention either that the pub, itself, was effectively the BNP’s local headquarters, or thats landlord, James Lloyd, was a local BNP councillor and leader of the BNP group on Sandwell Council.

So it is that I was hardly surprised to find that another little local interest story relating to this same councillor was, yesterday, quiet buried away in a single column at the foot of page five of the newspaper.

Before getting into the story itself, its worth reflecting on a couple of salient points.

First, in one looks at the BNP’s local election manifesto for this year, one finds that aside from its usual political incoherence - more of which in a moment - it makes the usual authoritarian play on the BNP’s claim to be ‘tough on crime’, albeit that this year’s rhetoric is somewhat more carefully crafted than usual.

We must have strict sentencing. We must support the victims of crime and be harsh with the perpetrators. We in the British National Party are not concerned with the rights of the guilty - they give up their civil rights when they commit crimes against innocent individuals, and hence also against the community. Knife crime and violent crime must attract severe sentencing. Life has become a cheap commodity - those that threaten or take life as a result of thuggish behaviour can expect to be treated accordingly.

Quite why the BNP have sudden come over all coy about their law and order policies - which includes hanging paedophiles and other sex offenders (again there’s more to come on this one) - is anyone’s guess but for all that they’ve taken to using a more euphemistic turn of phrase, then general intent is same as it always was, as was clearl evidenced by another of their sitting councillors and prominent local Holocaust denier, Simon Smith, when he said, that week, that he was ‘no apologist for white working-class scum’ who would be ’swept away’ by a future BNP government. And he may well be sincere in is opinions - he’s certain not prone to apologising from his own stupidity.

Be that as it may, their manifesto makes its usual pitch that the BNP will be tough on crime, hard on criminals and supportive of stiffer sentences, all of which brings me back to the Express and Star and the story that appeared in an altogether non-too-prominent position last night, which simply notes that a Ricky Lloyd, of Tipton, appeared before a local magistrates court, yesterday, on charges of dangerous driving and other motoring offences (expect the usual no licence, insurance or MOT) and was committed then to appear at Wolverhampton Crown Court because the magistrates considered that their powers were insufficient to deal adequately with the offence/offender.

What this amounts to is that magistrates have taken the view that Lloyd’s action, and his prior criminal record, merit a stiffer custodial sentence that could be handed down the magistrate, so they sent him to the Crown Court, where a judge can throw a substantially larger book at him.

Ricky Lloyd, so it turns out, is the oldest son of - yes, you guessed it - local councillor, BNP group leader and failed publican, James Lloyd, and judging on the strength of this story from December 2005, which tells how the same Ricky Lloyd had been committed for trial at Wolverhampton Crown Court on a charge of attempted robbery, its rather as if both the court and the relevant local prison might do well to install a turnstile and provide Lloyd with a season ticket.

Before moving off the subject of the BNP and crime - its a pretty extensive subject, after all - I should note that a rather interesting rumour has come to my attention which, if true (and we may well know either tomorrow or possibly Thursday if it is) will rather put to the test the BNP’s policy on dealing with sex offenders, as my understanding is that in the next day or two a national daily newspaper may well identify a BNP candidate, standing for election in the West Midlands, as having been convicted, some 12-15 years ago, of a serious sex offence - my informant suggests rape, although this is yet to be fully confirmed as the trial, apparently, was moved outside the local area.

More on this, naturally, as and when the full details of the story emerge.

Digging though BNP manifestoes is, of course, a rare treat and well as an excursion into the Twilight Zone in which real policies and common sense are but occasional and all too fleeting visitors - and this latest offering is much the same as ever.

There are a number of particular highlights…

The BNP’s plan to cut council tax by 50% is a lulu. The claim that they’ll be able to do this by removing education ‘budgets’ from local authorities to central government, who will then dispense funding to local areas to pay for schools from a central fund.

There are three obvious problems with this ‘plan’.

First they wouldn’t actually be removing education budgets from local authorities, as the funding they’d get from the central government pool would still be an education ‘budget’ - what they’re actually talking about is taking away the requirement for local authorities to raise part of their education budget from local taxation.

Second, and even more obviously, the mere fact of taking the raising of funds education spending away from local taxation does not mean lower taxes - it just means that you pay the tax somewhere else, so loathe I am to treat the BNP like a real political party rather than the bunch of low-grade moron they are, the question has to be asked as to which central government taxed they intend to raise in order to pay for this and by how much will they go up? In order to pay Paul, which Peter(s) do they intend to rob? Income Tax? VAT? Corporation Tax?

Or are they talking bollocks…

Problem number three follows on from number two - the suggest that council tax will be cut by 50% simply be removing education funding to central government rather presupposes that local authorities actually spend 50% of their council tax revenues on education in the first place. Is this true? Perhaps someone might take the time to either confirm of deny these figures.

The manifesto also includes is obligatory lies and misrepresentations when it comes to immigration:

A large proportion of the burden of paying for asylum seekers and other migrants falls directly on local authorities (as was candidly admitted in a recent report commissioned by London Councils and compiled by the London School of Economics) and this is another reason for the huge hike in council tax bills (which strange to say has coincided with the massive tidal wave of migration to this country).

Actually, the report - which you can download here - does not directly connect the alleged “burden of paying for asylum seekers and other migrants” with ‘huge’ increases in council tax bills, what the report does note is that local authorities do face increase costs in London arising from population mobility, some of which is directly attributable to immigration, some of which isn’t - the report takes in both mobility arising from inward (and outward) migration and internal mobility - people moving around within London and between London and other parts of the UK. In particular it is critical of the current inflexibility in funding arrangements for local government, particular in terms of the revenue support grant, which it argues prevents local authorities from reaping the full economic benefits for migration while leaving them to struggle with the costs arising from population mobility.

Taken as whole, migrants put more into the UK economy that they take out in services and support, the surplus from which pays towards the cost of services and support for what the BNP have taken to referring to as Britain’s indigenous population.

The problem this report highlight is that the overly centralised bureaucratic nature of the funding relationship between central and local government makes local government finance unresponsive to rapidly shifting patterns of demand, which is very different issue indeed.

It also makes the laughable point that:

Lastly local authorities are either obliged (through central government or European regulation) or they do it for their own treasonable politically correct reasons, to implement a whole host of costly schemes and grants to ethnic minority and multi-cultural groups, causes, projects and initiatives, including foreign language courses and interpreters which both drain away financial resources that could be put to much better use, and at the same time erode the social cohesion of the local communities.

Treasonable? WTF?

So far as I can recall, treason still requires that one be found to plotting, making or supporting an act of war against the UK, or the overthrow of the UK government - shagging the reigning monarch’s wife/husband might also still on the books as well - which rather raises questions about the BNP’s own plans as, according to a number of ex-members who’ve spilled the beans after being officially ‘unpersoned’ by BNP leadership, the real strategy of the party hinges on the idea that the BNP will step in and take power in the wake of rampant social disorder, which they believe will be the consequence of immigration - which does seem to suggest that they’re planning for the overthrow of democratically elected government in the UK, themselves.

That being said, its a rather strange and draconian view to take that sees funding creche facilities in a local Gurdwara as being ‘treasonable’ - all of which goes to show only that for all their efforts to present a ‘voter-friendly’ facade, they still cannot quite reign in their impulse for indulging a bit of good old-fashioned lunatic wing-nuttery.

Speaking of descents in complete madness, try this one for size:

We vigorously oppose the building of new houses on green belt land. Although there is a drastic housing shortage, we recognise that this is largely caused by the massive influx of bogus asylum seekers and economic migrants. Anyone who supports new housing schemes is indirectly facilitating the influx of these migrants.

Really?  Funny, I was actually under the distinct impression that the vast majority of green belt housing developments were being undertaken by the private sector, with the most of these properties falling well outside the price range of economic migrants and, especially, asylum seekers. In fact all the evidence I’ve seen, including that contained in the London Councils/LSE report that the BNP cite - incorrectly - as evidence for the cost of migration leading directly to council tax hikes, shows that the real housing pressure arising from migration is centred on the private-rented sector. Very few migrants arrive in the UK with the wherewithal to buy their own property and only those specifically seeking asylum have any entitlement to social housing, so it hardly follows that building £200,000 ‘Barrat ‘boxes’ on the outskirts of Ruislip is facilitating an ‘influx of migrants’.

If you indeed to place restrictions on housing developments specifically to inconvenience migrants, of all kinds, then what you legislate to prevent is not green-belt developments but the redevelopment of urban brown-field site and, especially, conversion of properties into flats/bedsits and the letting of single rooms - which is actually where you’ll find the majority of migrants. Unfortunately, stories 15 migrants crammed into a shitty two-up, two-down in Hackney don’t really fit the BNP’s lies about migrants getting a preferential deal.

By now, you should get the general picture, which as I said earlier, is that their election manifesto is a completely undeliverable litany of lies, falsehoods and bullshit. This is where, in one respect, the BNP do differ markedly from the German Nazi Party - before plunging Europe into World War Two, Hitler did manage to turn around the German economy and make the trains run on time, while the BNP, had they the remotest chance of taking power, would completely fuck the economy up in a matter of days.

To conclude, I cannot resist flagging up what the BNP have to say on the subject of ‘culture’, itself a rather alien concept to most the party’s members who remain firmly convinced that its some sort of naan bread.

Culture is a much neglected but very important subject. We wish to create a society of stakeholders where residents feel it is their community and that they are a vital part of it. Promoting the culture, the history, of a district is a vital ingredient in helping to establish a local community feeling. These local cultures developed over centuries of human interaction. The liberal regime has deliberately tried to destroy local particularism in a bid for conformity and dull uniformity.

So all the funding that goes to local history societies is a myth?

Local councils would be responsible for encouraging local festivals and officially celebrating events such as St. George’s Day, St. Andrew’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day and St. David’s Day.

St Patrick’s Day? But that’s an Irish holiday and Ireland hasn’t been part of UK since 1921, other than for the bit up north which is half full with the descendents of Scottish Presbytarians.

Oh well, I guess if nothing else we have some advance of notice of the first annexation - Dublin is new Sudetenland and all that jazz.

Local councils would also be expected to celebrate and mark traditional festivals such as Easter and Christmas. No public body would be allowed to officially celebrate or mark a non-indigenous festival or holiday.

Do think you could make your mind up here?  On the one hand you’re saying that council’s will have to celebrate Easter and Christmas, but you also say that they won;t be permitted to mark a ‘non-indigenous’ festival or holiday?

Just where the fuck do you think we got Easter and Christmas from in the first place?

Did my school use the wrong version of the Bible or something, as I’m pretty sure that it said that Jesus was born in stable in Bethlehem and died in Jerusalem, not that he was born just outside Newport Pagnell and crucified in the middle of Slough…

There is nothing ‘indigenous’ about Christianity whatsoever - it began as a messianic Jewish cult and arrived in Britain via the Church of Rome. If its ‘indigenous’ you’re after then surely you should be directing councils to erect replicas of Stonehenge all over the place and appointing their own local Druids to lead the annual summer solstice festivities.

Skipping on a tad, just because the next bit is rather dull and uninteresting, we come to this…

The schools, libraries, museums and civic theatres would all be expected to contribute in different ways all year round to the cultural health of our local communities. BNP councillors would actively encourage the development of living participation spectacles, historical re-enactments and pageants, particularly involving schoolchildren.

Fuck me, anything to try and justify putting kids into uniforms - all a bit unhealthy and fetishistic if you ask me.

What historical re-enactment do you have in mind here? Edward I’s expulsion of the Jews, perhaps? Or maybe we you’re looking for people to set up a local branch of the Kristnalnacht re-enactment society for those of us who fancy something a touch more contemporary.

No, tell you what. How about we go for re-enactment of the D-Day landings, the Battle of El-Alamein and the Liberation of Western Europe? What do you reckon? Good idea?

…although we will need someone to play the Nazis… any volunteers?

Hey, guess what? I’m just buzzing with ideas today, in fact I’ve come up with the ideal slogan for the BNP’s election campaign! Never mind all this ‘people like you’ crap, try this instead…

Vote BNP. Because stupid is as stupid does.

Perfect!

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